Today was emotionally trying.
I read things a lot better but execution lacked on the shorts. I think if I had left the shorts alone, by the time the longs I was expecting showed up, I would have been able to hold it better but I expended some emotional energy where it probably didn't need to be expended.
After the overnight trend up, I was expecting a pull back and a possible trading opportunity short which did present but I was trying to be very precise in my entry and I waited to long on both occasions and didn't get anything except a break even trade I won't dissect here.
The longs set up near perfect but instead of going all in and scale out like I discussed on Saturday, I decided to try to scale INTO the trade.
This worked very well but I was very uncomfortable with it for the reasons noted on Saturday but I forced myself to do it. I may or may not do this again. It was difficult emotionally.
I had a wide gap area on the 30M with 61.80 as the top of that gap. I was pretty sure that gap would be filled and that is where I set my targets for both positions.
However, as the open profit piled up and then it stalled at the bottom of that gap, I grew impatient and closed one position and held the other for the runner but honestly, my emotional capital was gone by then which I recognized and I closed the other one as well. This short supply of emotional capital is/was the result of 1. The long draw down period; 2. The very short time since the come to Jesus meeting and 3, expending capital unnecessarily on the shorts.
The short trades were/are a result of the some of the issues I came up with in the meeting with myself last week. FOMO, greed, impatience all reared their ugly head and instead of waiting for the long I knew was coming, I wanted it all. I suppose I could had it all as well but these were not calculated trades but rather emotional ones. Always a recipe for disaster. Thankfully I knew where I wanted to be long and kept that in focus and shifted to longs as that level approached. I became much more rational and thoughtful as that trade set up for the entries.....but still had an emotional exit.
As I type, its trading at 61.73 and has for a little bit so perhaps its done for now. Who knows. (EDIT, it just printed 61.81. Fifty four ticks from my original entry long.) There is resistance on the daily chart at 62.20 and I think we might make it there today but I am done.
I executed pretty well on the long, piss poor on the shorts and while nicely profitable today I know I could have done way better. I'm not angry or disappointed, I know its but another step away from the abyss I found myself at middle of last week.
At this point in the journey, all I am interested in is daily closing the gap between where I was and where I want to be and I did that today.